Many people have expressed  that their main problem in life is their negative emotional reactions, especially anger. This is creating a lot of problems in life.This is the problem with many people nowadays, in the office and at home.So today, we are going to discuss specifically anger management. If you ask anyone, what the goal of life is, mostly the answer will be -to have a happy life. Some may elaborate it as a happy, peaceful, and healthy life. But the fact is that happiness, peace, and good health are fast eroding from the life of everybody in this modern era.

We all are aware of this fact. People resort to various activities and wellness programs to achieve this goal. But most of them end up with non-permanent and cosmetic  results.

Happy and peaceful life means a state of mind of positive emotions, health, and wellness. The absence of these positive feelings and emotions means the presence of negative emotions. Every emotion is preceded by corresponding thoughts.In short, when we are not happy, we are having negative feelings and emotions most of the time though we are aware not of it.Only severe negative emotions like anger are noticed and identified as a problem.

Medical science conclusively tells us   that negative emotions produce harmful chemicals, toxins, inflammatory agents and so on in the body   and it adversely affects our immune system and energy level which is the root cause for a majority of our illnesses.Similarly, positive emotions like love, compassion, joy, gratitude, etc.,  produce many healthy hormones and substances like dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin, serotonin etc., which contribute to the good health and wellbeing of a person.Therefore, it is our urgent need  to learn to manage negative emotions.

For the sake of better understanding, let us take anger as an example.This is a very common emotional reaction with dangerous consequences on health and life. We all know that emotion is experienced in mind, and proper awareness is most critical to fix any problem related to the mind.

So let us address the negative emotion of anger closely.

Anger is a negative emotional reaction to an unfavorable situation or event. For better understanding,  we have to refer to an example of a common angry situation and awareness of its dynamics. An example is- an angry behavior of a teacher towards a naughty student.If you ask the teacher, say a male teacher, about the reason for his angry behavior, he will say it is due to the naughty behavior of the student. We all do the same thing in angry situations. We attribute the reason for anger to an unfavorable situation or to another person’s behavior. This is fundamentally incorrect and unconsciousness.To become aware of  this fundamental truth, just think whether all teachers will react with the same degree and type  of anger to the same naughty behavior of the student.

 The answer is no. Another  teacher may lovingly advise the same naughty student. In short different people react differently to the same situation.

What does it mean?

It means that the anger is not due to a particular situation or incident; it is as per the nature of each person. Some people are aware of their angry nature but say they are not able to control or change it. The conclusion is that the anger or negative emotional reaction of a person is not because of a particular situation or incident, but because of his nature, it means that the emotional behavior is as per our subconscious program, which we not aware of, in the normal case. 

 It is done based on the experiences, conclusions, and beliefs made by a child. Neuroscientists say, up to the age of 7, children do not have an analytical mind to understand the reasons or rationale behind various experiences. 

A scolded child by parents will not understand it as a corrective measure, but he may think that he is not loveable, or he is  inferior to others, etc., which will result in the experience of  hurt and   negative programming and development of the corresponding personality.

This fundamental awareness and repeated introspection will help us to reprogramme our subconscious mind and gradually reduce angry behavior. If a person is able to become aware of the childhood situations and experiences based on which he has developed this angry nature, the reprogramming or solution is much easier. Another reason for the angry behavior is due to unconsciousness created by our ego-mind. We are aware of the existence and operation of our false image or emotional mind or ego-mind, which is our driving force normally. Again come back to our ealier example and listen carefully. The question is 

whether the same teacher will be angry in the same  manner to a naughty  incident had happened one month before ?

Answer is no. 

Because the teacher is aware that it happened one month before , it is a past event and not a reality now.The teacher or any sensible person  is also aware that an emotional reaction or anger  to something  already happened  in the past,means unreal, is  foolishness . 

Now here is critical question .

 Is it not  a fact that an event happened five minute or one minute before is also  a past event ? 

 And also something unreal and not existing now? 

 Most people will have difficulty in answering it immediately.

This  truth is contrary to our belief so far. Whether it is one year before or one month before or one minute before, any incident  happened is in the past is unreal and not existing  now or in the present .

Therefore anger to something happened in the past, even one minute before  is also, unconsciousness or foolishness.

In short  our anger or nature of negative emotional reactions   is nothing but unconsciousness or foolishness.

We know that ego mind wants emotional conflict and pain for its survival.Ego mind creates an illusion that immediate past and future are a reality and existing in the present .

So that conflict and pain are created for the survival of ego mind.

Therefore,  …..we should become aware of this  trick which the the ego mind was playing so far with us. 

Because the ego mind survives on the illusion of past and future.When one person becomes fully aware of this truth, and live a life of 100% present, there is no room for emotional reaction or anger .He will only respond rationally to the present situations .Our brain circuits are  structured and  strengthened as per the experiences and pattern of thoughts and emotions. 

The ability of our brain  to structure itself as per experiences is called neuroplasticity. So the brain has a tendency to continue to have same thought and emotional pattern. 

 Sincere introspection, awareness  and practice of meditation help us to experience new emotions and change the brain circuits and we can transform ourselves in a sustainable manner.

Mind Engineering based counselling sessions or training programmes help us to get  more insights